If the higher self exists then does that mean that there is a point after which we can no longer improve?

it makes me very sad that if this point exists then i am doomed to achieve a perfection that will be devoid of struggles. It is kind of like heaven, if it exists that means that everything is all perfect & nothing you do matters anymore, because perfection and ultimate happiness is achieved and i could imagine myself doing then is just helping others achieve that same point which i do so despise. i hate that and i am having lots of problems dealing with the whole concept of a higher self. i do not want to ever have to reach that point after which there are no more questions, there is no more pain...just... ultimate happines, kind of like when you are on drugs and have no control anymore. i don't want to ever have to feel perfect enlightenment, because then there is no room for improvement. It is my only wish to be a catalyst, an agent that causes change, but if there is a point where i reach that goal...then...what next? Such a thing is my second to greatest fear (after nothingness)...